Editor’s Note: Last season, Pt 4 of this saga covered from the end of the season to the start of our European campaign. I anticipate far less player movement this time around, so we’ll go right until the start of the domestic season.
Well, we know we need to strengthen our side and we’ve been told we can only do it with Dutch players as we’ll be playing in Europe again. I have all of my scouts scouring the Dutch Premier and First Divisions to find improvements but the hunt isn’t off to a spectacular start. We actually do find some transfer targets, but the few that I can agree a fee for (and that will hear out a contract offer) are being incredibly stubborn.
This chap for example. He’s earning £700/week at Zwolle and won’t join us for £375/week (our max), Champions Cup football (versus mid Div 1 obscurity in Holland) and a ONE POINT FOUR MILLION POUND SIGNING BONUS. That’s 2,000 weeks (or 38.5 YEARS) of his current weekly wage.
The final few matches of the year sort out some silverware across Europe. It’s an all-English battle for the UEFA Cup as Man U and Spurs end in a goalless draw before Christian Ziege skies a penalty in the shootout to lose it for Tottenham. The Champions Cup Final is also a nil-nil draw with Bayern beating Liverpool 6–5 on penalties.
Domestically, we knew Distillery was going down to be replaced by Armagh but 9th place Ards manage to stay up through the relegation playoff with Limavady Utd.
I continue to have very little luck in the transfer market yet I do manage to (eventually) seal a deal. It’s a deal that doesn’t fill me with the happiness that it should. We pay £500k to Go Ahead Eagles for another Dutch striker, and pay HIM an extra £1.4M just to come here. Still, pairing him with Hose should net us some more goals this coming season.
I realise that almost £2M is stupid money, but clearly I must be doing something right…
Even that prestigious award doesn’t sway my want-list players. Here’s a list of who I’ve been working on…
It’s another first in my Portadown tenure. We’ve got a lad that’s been called up to international duty. Our Gambian/Dutch winger is called up for a mid-June friendly with Zimbabwe. Not our first capped player that’s been on the books, but a the first to be on active duty…
With the start of June come the previously agreed upon transfers. Bowler heads to Peterhead for a paltry £6k while John Nieuwenburg arrives on a Bosman from Ajax…albeit with a £300k signing bonus. Some added depth in our DM corps.
We’re into late June now and I’m informed that our facilities upgrade has been completed. It’s now “adequate” (for £325k) but when I go back the next day to ask for a further improvement, the Board agree to it. We remain a semi-pro club despite no semi-pro contracts, £5M in the bank and:
We’re in the Champions Cup as champions. Coleraine and Linfield (Irish Cup and 2nd place) are off to the UEFA Cup and 3rd place Glentoran get an Inter-Toto spot. With a country co-efficient up at 3.00 now, we’re up to 40th in Europe. It doesn’t mean much for us as we have the same number of spots as everyone else around us, except for those poor Moldovans and Bosnians for some reason…
As expected, Mr. Neil Tarrant wins our Fans Player of the Year Award. He was our top performer…that played a lot of matches…at a 7.48. I imagine our new Dutch strikers will replace him next season, as Hose went for 8.22 and de Weerdt is about as good. On paper, at least.
For some weird reason, the Board want us to threepeat. They’ve become accustomed to the silverware now and are getting greedy. But for some reason as their expectations increase, our wage budget does not follow suit.
I use this fella as an example for the Board to demonstrate how incredibly limiting this “Dutch-only” transfer policy is. He’s been scouted and short-listed for ages. He’s been capped twice for Northern Ireland. He’s agreed to come on relatively decent terms but WE CAN’T HAVE HIM (don’t worry, he’s only here on trial). Sorry, John. Gotta withdraw the offer.
The first two qualifying phases of the Champions Cup are drawn and we’ll be up against Borac (BL) of Bosnia in the First and — if we progress — Steaua in the Second Phase. Decent size stadiums (18k then 28k) and very few real players (zero and five).
Having seen what happened last year with our first European match, I try to adjust this time around. While we still have no summer break to speak of, we do have a week with no physical training leading in to July in an attempt to avoid playing our first Champions Cup qualifier with a squad of mid-80 to to mid-90 fitness players.
Glentoran have already embarrassingly crashed out of the Inter-Toto Cup at the first hurdle. Perhaps they thought (like I did) that away goals were a thing in that Cup, but they ain’t. Glentoran rest their top stars and pay the price, crashing out on pens to Luxembourgian amateur side Aris Bonnevoie. Their best keeper has a 5 for handling, best striker a 7 for finishing. Just shocking.
As we prepare for our first competitive match, they’ve also scheduled our first domestic competitive one. It’s the plum assignment of defending our Charity Shield “trophy” at home against Coleraine.
The summer break has not been kind to some of our elder statesmen in the side. Marcelle and Ampadu have both suffered significant drops in attributes. Hell, even some of our younger ones are having a rough go via skill levels and replacement players. We’ve had to reserve-side and even transfer list some surprising names, such as Darren Fitzgerald and Neil Tarrant. This XI/XVIII formation/squad appears to be the best we’ve got as formerly infrequently used Darl Douglas appears to be our best attacking midfielder and will play a lot this season. By the way, that’s a Dutch front five (and seven of eleven), if you’re counting.
Leg 1 of the First Qualifying Phase for the Champions Cup. Borac Banja Luka are in town to face us at the Shamrock. They’re entirely greyed out but a few of them have some decent attributes.
We’re all over them from the get-go and Hose picks up right where he left off. I make all three changes at the break due to some potential injuries and send the lads back out. The second half is a more even affair, but we add a third via the penalty spot for de Weerdt — a debut goal, no less. Borac score a corner kick goalmouth scramble away goal with about ten to go, but we’ll head to Bosnia with a decent lead to protect.
I’ve been trying to scout/trial a bunch of released Dutch players and I finally get a message telling me that one of them has come. He looks decent but wants silly money (£5k/week) so I try my signing bonus technique and cross my fingers.
My next message I receive is altogether less welcome. While not slated to start this season, he certainly could have put in a shift when needed. His 34 goal contributions from last season were a team high and his performances did not go unnoticed. £22k well spent for the season and a half we had him.
We run out the same entire team, save Ampadu in for retired Marcelle. Borac and their 18k seat Gradski Stadion may well provide us a few quid to cover airfare in this one too.
A first half penalty get Borac within touching distance of the tie, but — after replacing all three midfielders with identical “potential foot injury” issues — Clarke nets twice in the last twenty to put us in to the next round.
The 13,381 fans earns us a whopping £19k. I’m hoping a trip to Romania to face Steaua Bucharest will be a bit more lucrative.
Despite playing the second 45 minutes in our last match, Ampadu promptly retires after the match. Perhaps he wants to stay in Bosnia? Perhaps he just wanted one last kick at the can? Perhaps that explains the drop in skill he and Marcelle experienced over the summer? Either way, options in the midfield are getting thinner.
We manage to avoid Celtic/Chelsea/Liverpool/Milan/Lazio in the Third Qualifying Phase though Brugge certainly aren’t pushovers. And that’s only IF we survive Steaua in the Second Phase…
My scout says Steaua are very strong and though they’ve only got five non-gray players, they’ve all played full, B or U21 matches for Romania. And Claudiu Radacanu is almost certainly the best player on the pitch.
So, for the second consecutive match I send out an identical XI with the only change to the bench being a retiree being replaced.
And, for the second consecutive First Leg, we provide ourselves a two-goal advantage for the away fixture. Again, we made all three changes at the break to ensure potential injuries don’t become definite injuries (many players are still lacking match fitness) but we only allow a single shot on target that de Visscher saves comfortably.
We’re ever so close to being fully fit for the trip to Romania. Still plenty of match fitness issues but if we manage to get through this match unscathed, we’ll end up with European football one way or another.
I get slightly worried when Steaua score after 17 minutes but the match settles down and we’re very much in it. I’m wary that a bad bounce or a stray handball could level this thing up, but Hose allays my fears with a 54th minute strike. We advance 3–1 on aggregate in front of an almost packed house…that nets us far too little by way of money: £15k in TV money and £65k in gate. What are these teams charging for seats???
We’ll be off to Belgium in a week for the Third Qualifying Phase. Win the pairing and we’ll be into the Champions Cup Group Stage again. Lose and we’ll end up in the First Round of the UEFA Cup.
I’m immediately asked to name a European squad and though our summer business may not be over, I can only submit what I have. So far, I’ve failed miserably to sign any of the players that I scouted or trialled.
I put the transfer business behind me as it’s time to get on with football playing business. The hour (the start of our domestic season) is upon us. Coleraine have rolled in to town to try to steal our Charity Shield. Let’s go retain ourselves some silverware, Ports.
