I tend to prefer to do long-term saves that get very complicated and inevitably end up crashing. I can’t imagine this one will be any different on either account. I’ve wanted to try this little challenge I’ve set for myself for some time now, and while I’ve tweeted about some of my latest adventures, I haven’t written about one in a while.
My goal with this save is to take control of a club in one of the leagues on the lower end of the reputation spectrum, turn them into a national powerhouse (increasing my own rep in doing so), take control of the national team once I’m able to and lead the national team up the FIFA Rankings.
The rules I’ve set for myself are far looser than in previous adventures. Attribute masking is off. I can freely loan whoever I’m able to get my hands on. I can scour the “Player Search” function. I can “Find” whoever I want. I can use whatever formation I want and I’ll probably opt for two-at-the-back. I can scout wherever I want…though with attribute masking off, there’s little value-added other than finding which players may be interested. I can basically do anything, save wibwobing/mmtk and offering month-to-month contracts. Those are lines in the sand that I do not cross.
Looking at the FIFA rankings and then flip a coin between the two lowest ranked countries I can play in: Northern Ireland (98th, just behind Syria) and a handful of spots behind, Wales (103rd). I’m sure you can figure out which country was heads and which was tails, and the coin decides on Northern Ireland.
Checking out the possible clubs (Thanks Colin!) that I could take over at, I see they’re all in debt to some degree. It just so happens that the club with the lowest debt, highest current reputation, biggest ground and the best facilities are one and the same: Linfield. I sign myself up and settle in for the long haul.
We’re apparently defending champs (apologies to David Jeffrey for ending his tenure 13 years earlier than in real life, though I do hope to out-do his 31 trophy wins) and in my first month here I’ve got both a UCL Q1 2nd leg to play against Nistru Otaci (we drew 0–0 at home in the first leg) and the Charity Shield vs. Portadown.
In real life, the general manager of Linfield is Pat Fenlon. He’s a former Linfield player who happens at Shelbourne in 2001. The real life gaffer is David Healy, plying his trade as a sprightly 21-year-old striker at Preston at the moment. Three of the four Linfield scouts listed on Wikipedia are currently on our playing roster, although a cursory glance tells me that only one of them (Noel Bailie, who has his number retired IRL and is an MBE) has a chance of seeing the pitch for me. This club seems very loyal to their own, and while I’m thrilled that folks seem to enjoy spending long periods of time here, I’m a far more fickle boss. I’ll ruthlessly replace anyone that even slightly hinders our rise up the European ladder.
I glance around the place upon arrival and it’s not half bad. Windsor Park looks lovely and is also the home to Irish Football Association, who (in real life) pay us a fee for the right to use some offices around the place and to host international football matches. We are the largest football stadium in the country by a fair margin, so it makes sense that this would be their home. The Irish Cup Final is usually held here too, so our local Belfast-derby rivals (Cliftonville, Crusaders and Glentoran) are probably a bit jealous.
The “Good” facilities aren’t too shabby either. If we’re to push on in Europe and then the world, we’ll need to upgrade them to get some promising young players through the door.
I check in with the finance department to look at the books and we’re currently £133k in the red. Our player wages are a shaded under £5k/week and £1.4K/week for our staff. I’ll try to trim both our debt and weekly wages down with some player sales in the very near future. Some cheap loans wouldn’t go amiss either.
We’re still considered a semi-professional club, as most of our employees — staff and players alike — are on part-time contracts. I’d like to rectify that in the front office, but no one seems interested in re-upping at the moment. I few weeks working with me should change that! Despite that, the staff here are friendly enough and not altogether hopeless. After a quick meet-and-greet, player/coach Tommy Wright (of NUFC/MCFC fame, capped 31 times for NIR) offers to bridge the gap between staff and players and introduce me to the lads.
I feel like it’s the early days of the MLS here: A few fantastic players, some passable ones and then a pile of dross. After catching the tail end of a training session and having a quick meet and greet, I list all but 11 of them within minutes of making their acquaintance. A terrible first impression is tough to overcome. Some were slacking off during practice, some were just bad at footballing and a pair of them had handshakes that lacked any sort of conviction. We can’t have any of that around the place. It’d be nice if I could field an actual team in an actual formation with the players I want to keep, but I have gaping holes all over the pitch. I’ll be spending an awful lot of time hunched over a computer over the next few days firing off emails to the four corners of the world to try to bring in some help.
As far as players that I DO want to keep, Lee Feeney is my absolute pick of the litter. Double-digits all over the place, albeit mostly 10s to 12s. He’s our best AM and our best Striker and I’ll be relying on him heavily for goals and assists.
Beyond him, Glenn Ferguson and William Murphy are the only two really worth mentioning. Ferguson is a capable yet ageing striker with 5 caps to his name, while Murphy is a relative (for the Norn Irish Prem) rock in defence.
We’ve got FIVE GKs on the books with four of them at very similar skill levels. All but the younger, cheaper two have been listed, but that somewhere I’d really like to strengthen. The aforementioned Tommy Wright is also one of the unlucky transfer-listed keepers, but to no interest whatsoever. He can stay if no one wants him, but solely in a coaching capacity.
All told, I’ve got 20 players on the transfer market and fortunately, 11 of them have interest from around the UK. Even a few of the ones with NO interest still appear as part-exchange options around a few of the NIFL clubs, so I send out some swap offers.
The transfer list shows a bunch of interested lads from all around the British Isles, so I throw out a bunch of hopeful loan offers. I even offer to stump up 100% of the wages for a few of them…that are making £50 or less per week. Generous, I know!
Scouring the free agent list turns up a few gems…
…a massive heap of sh*t…
…and some surprising names. Vincent Kompany (a rubbish 15yo DC), Roberto Soldado (an even rubbisher 16yo striker) for example.
Having waded through the profile of hundreds of free agents (largely fruitlessly due to the fact that most of the GKs aren’t able to handle, the strikers can’t finish, the defenders can’t mark and the midfielders can’t pass) and still not being halfway done the list, I take a break to do something a bit more enjoyable. Rather than looking for unsigned players from who-knows-where, I start hunting for some diamonds in the rough (loan only, at this stage) in some of the hot-bed lower leagues. A pile of loan offers are made for Portuguese, Greek, Italian and Spanish lads, but apparently we can’t loan in non-EU fellas? Shame, I liked the look of some of the Brazilian and Argentinean lads.
How about some later-2001 Bosman targets next? Finland, Norway, Sweden and Brazil all end their seasons later on in the year, so I fire off offers to any guys with expiring contracts that I like the look of. I simultaneously assign my four scouts to those countries, as Bosmans may be our best way to improve the squad until we get some moolah in the bank.
As I ponder heading back to the free agent list, it also occurs to me that the list will change drastically over the summer as some of these players are signed by other teams. That should also mean that more players will turn up, and I’ll have to keep a close eye on the completed transfer list for the next little while to see if anyone worth their salt is released from elsewhere.
I proceed to spend the rest of the night slogging through every player that is currently without contract. 3,240 players, and a MASSIVE waste of time for all the useful looking players I was able to offer for. As I close my laptop, the exhaustion takes over and I pace out on my desk.
I wake up in a puddle of drool, face down on my desk as I try to gather my senses. I takes me a minute to remember where I am and what I’m doing, but before I even grab a coffee or shower, I pop my glasses back on and wake my laptop up to check my emails.
There a PILE of them. I sort them into groups: Incoming bids, loans, transfer offers and other.
There’s a solitary transfer offer message to get out of the way first. One of my swap offers has been accepted. Glenavon agree to a straight swap of these two lads. A better keeper who’s younger and on less wages for a guy I don’t want. Wilson (even at 17yo) would be our clear #1 and I offer him everything he asks for contract-wise. I hope Glentoran do the same for Mannus and we can push this deal through.
A few loan offers have been accepted by clubs, but this one has been agreed to by both club and player and we welcome Ged Kielty to Linfield on zero wages. He’s not our best midfielder, but he’s certainly a useful addition.
There are 16 bids for 7 of the players that I’ve plonked in the reserves. Some are accepted for asking price, while I negotiate a bunch of them up. This could get us out of debt lickety-split.
The “Other” category of emails maxes out my inbox. Having made dozens of offers to players and coaches alike, I’m informed of every other offer these lads are given. Pages and pages of emails that make me angrier and angrier as our targets are provided more and more options.
That anger maker me slam my computer shut and turn my mind to other things. My ablutions weren’t going to take care of themselves and I have some silly admin to handle…like finding a place to live. I’m picky, and my estate agent is well aware of my must-have list, so thankfully we don’t have too many places to see. I settle on a quaint little bungalow, just a 15 minute drive from the office/ground. Hot tub outside, swimming pool inside, games room, bar… This’ll do.
The paperwork on the cash purchase doesn’t take too long, and I get the keys on the spot. I’m independently wealthy via a pal with some crazy stock market savvy — he handles all of my finances. I basically live off dividends at this point and everything I earn is being put back in to the market. He’s got a good feeling about this computer company that’s branching out into personal audio gadgets of some kind. They’re at $0.44USD/share right now, so even my meagre wages at Linfield are buying a decent amount of this “AAPL” company.
It’s back to the office to check the afternoon messages and maybe run a training session for our 12 first-team players and whoever’s left in the reserves. They’ve got a new formation to learn.
They pick up on things pretty quickly (Thank goodness —It’s Sunday and we’ve got Nistru Otaci in Moldova on Wednesday) and seem pretty happy with the new up-tempo style. We’ll be pushing forward hard and often and hopefully that translates to goals — and players and fans alike love goals.
Loan rejections and other clubs agreeing deals with our targets take up most of my inbox, but there are a pair of messages that please me. Feeney and Ferguson both agree to new deals…on MORE agreeable terms than they had before. They’re now full-timers, but we’re saving some wages as they’re happy with £400/week instead of the previous £500/week!
I head back to the new house, with ten or so people in tow. The staff (minus the scouts who have left already) have been invited over for a get-to-know-you session over food, drinks and music. I explain my methods and my plan for the future over a catered dinner and I feel it was a rousing success. The front office folk seem to be 100% onside with my blueprint. I conveniently leave out the bit about cutting them loose if they step more than an inch out of line as I don’t want them to work hard out of fear. That’s not the type of motivation I want to provide. I’m thrilled there’s not a global pandemic or something that would outlaw these sorts of gatherings!
We all get a bit of a late Monday morning start as we’re a bit sluggish from the previous night’s fun, but I head to my desk immediately. Lots more emails and I filter through them all, looking for some good news. There’s good news, news, good news and annoying AF news.
So Tierney doesn’t want to move up a division to the Prem, the reigning champs who have a UCL match this week? WTF, mate? I rationally talk myself out of my rage by pointing out that clearly his lack of ambition would have been bad for our club.
Lastly, another loan deal has been agreed. He’s an upgrade on what I’ve got (though not what I hope to get), but he’s come in for free and can play on Wednesday. That’s good enough for now!
We’ve got our first outgoing player, as McBride moves to non-league Pontardawe Town. The sale covers this week and next week’s wages, but it’s better than nothing!
We have two more loanees arrive in the afternoon as Doherty and Mahedy help bolster our thin back line. We can officially field a semi-decent XI now, with three subs!
I tether myself to Tommy Wright on Tuesday morning as we set off for Moldova. I can’t see where we’re going, as my BlackBerry 850 is an even busier hive of activity than my office has ever been. First thing in the morning, I’m accepting and negotiating deals left, right and centre. I just want Marks off the books, so free is fine. The sales of Shaw, Scates, Morgan, McShane, Dickson and Parker will wipe out our debt and maybe even leave us a chunk of spending money! On the down side, Verissimo of Olhanense was my number one target for a number one, so I’m dismayed that he’s refused to come. Very sad indeed.
By the afternoon, we’ve landed in Chisinau and boarded the coach to drive us three hours north. We’d better win tomorrow. This trip has been horrendous. Still in my BlackBerry, I see we’ve added a 2nd loanee keeper that bumps another original down to the transfer list and the reserve squad. Then that evening, as we pull in to the hotel, we agree to add a third keeper to the first team, but this time it’s a permanent deal for that young one in the swap deal with Glenavon. I tell them to both get their arses over here, posthaste.
We also send a reserve home early, as Exeter have agreed to take him off our hands for £20k. It’s the morning of our UCL match and I’m not quite focused as I should be on it, as emails are still piling in. Negotiating sales, welcoming new players that took the red-eye to get here (Hi Paul!), checking in with the finance department (down to -£50k!), firing a coach and welcoming in a new one and kicking myself for forgetting that work permits are thing (Brazilian DMs Calixto and Teixeira will both be no-gos). I also recall my Brazilian scout immediately and send him to Old Brazil (aka Portugal) instead.
Minutes before our match, a player departs for a record price. We’re £50k richer, but for some reason, the books don’t show it. We started £133k in debt, we’re £124k to the good since I arrived and we’re still £41k in the hole? I think this team needs to hire my accountant.
I then sign a deal that should finally get us back into the black. Not bad for 4 days’ work! I also get a signed contract from Arno Hofstede, an old defender who hasn’t played since August 1997 (though it was at a decent level, with Eredivisie side Go Ahead Eagles). He won’t be here in time for this match, so I turn my attention to where it should always have been.
I quickly scribble down what I think is my best XI and grab a few reserves to make up the numbers. We’re not as fit as we could be and there’s no point filling that last sub spot as the skill drop-off is so steep. “I have faith in you”, “Come on lads, show me what you can do” etc.
The action is thick and fast. I said this formation would result in goals and I said I’d be relying on Ferguson and Feeney for firepower. Correct on both counts. We go in to the break up a goal, but Feeney has done all I’m going to allow him to do tonight. His fitness has dropped below 70% and he’s replaced by new-boy loanee Kielty. Away goals are our friend at this stage. Just don’t concede two more than they do…
An early 2nd half goal all but finishes them off, as I get the debut win I was hoping for. Captain Bailie wins man of the match despite Feeney’s first half brace, but I won’t complain too much.
We’re officially through! And try not to get TOO excited about it, Board! Maybe they’re just sad we’re going to lose our booked-pre-my-arrival home friendlies with Bournemouth and Everton???
Alright UEFA, who will we be playing? Let’s see this draw:
Oh. Brilliant. That could have gone SO much better than it did. I mean, hopefully we’ll make some money out of it? But Anderlecht are probably one of the top 5 sides I was hoping to avoid out of this group…
We head home immediately after the match. The lads are wired after finding out who we’ve got next, so there’s no point trying to get any sleep tonight. We may as well have a raucous bus/flight, get in uber-late tonight and sleep in our own beds. We’ve got Watford coming to town for a friendly that I don’t give two hoots about on Sunday, but we will need to be well rested for next Wednesday.
Still face down in my BlackBerry on the trip home, I don’t get much rest with the noisy lads and the work I’m doing. There’s boatloads to do prior to or next match. Jamie Marks and his wages are gone, Morgan leaves for £75k (offically getting us back in the correct side of the ledger, but still no spending money) and old-man Hofstede messages to say he’s ready to meet us in the morning. Are you joking, Arno? Do you know where we are? Let’s make it late morning... Or early afternoon. I mean, YOU can be there whenever, but we’ll see you tomorrow afternoon!
I decide to fire a coach tomorrow too, as we’ve got a new chap coming in to help guide the boys on their quest for glory. Villa legend Gordon Cowans, capped ten times for the Three Lions will join us for training tomorrow!
We get home far later than I was expecting, so upon arrival back at the house, I check my emails prior to collapsing in to bed. We have matching £100k bids for Shaw, a player we’ve already accepted a bid of that amount for. So, Cambuur and Rushden & Diamonds, £250k and he’s yours!
Yet another new staff member signs on the dotted line. This is NOT the former Manchester United player, but he still looks like a decent upgrade for our backroom staff.
Two free agent DMs accept terms and while they look rather crap, they’re both improvements over our current crap. I put a pin in both deals though, because with the influx of cash I’m hoping to get shortly, I’m hoping we can find something a bit better…
I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow. I’m awoken by my BlackBerry buzzing like crazy. For a split second, I’m angry before it turns to excitement. This is the job I signed up for after all!
Another pinned DM that wants to come play for me. Another want-away reserve I’m happy to see leave. Some loan rejections. Some fellas signing elsewhere. And Grimes (my third new coach) arriving.
I greet him at the training ground and show him around prior to our light afternoon session. Everyone’s here and very thankful that we all had the morning off. As we’re having dinner together in the cafeteria, I’m called away to greet our latest arrival. A young Swedish AM that I’m happy enough to have on board. I introduce Jon around, before sending everyone home for an early night. Tomorrow will be a more intense session as we continue to shuffle pieces around.
Friday morning brings some great news. A new record sale of £100k, and we now have some actual, real-life money to spend! No one to spend it on, just yet. Scouts are searching though!
After lunch, I receive some news that is 99.99% irrelavant. If we, somehow, some way, manage to knock Anderlecht off (underestimation, injury, red card combo???) we’ll get Lille in the Q3 phase.
Preparation continues for Anderlecht, as I plan to use our friendly with Watford as an entirely reserve/youth showcase to get some players in the shop window. They’re good, by the way. I’m managed to get our weekly wages (players AND staff) down to £5,645 (from just under £7k when I started) and Anderlecht could have an entire starting XI that make at least 50% of that. Including Gilles de Wilde, on £6k by himself.
Happy weekend to me! Ummm, yes please. I’ll take that deal.
A quartet of loanees arrive prior to our Sunday Watford match. None of them are going to be starters, but can fill some gaps if injuries/suspensions crop up. I’m not spending anything on them, so no harm in keeping them in the reserves (and making up some numbers for the Watford friendly tomorrow).
We’re walloped, as I throw in a bunch of players that have no chance of seeing the field on Wednesday. Frankly, I’m surprised we managed that solitary goal! Watford has a player on £10k/week! Just insanity. I hope to be at that level one day.
There’s nothing quite like equalling your highest ever transfer sale fee and then 250%-ing it minutes later. Now’s the time I need my scouts to kick it in to high gear.
Another loanee arrives. No one earth-shattering, but he’s on par with what we have in the DM roles at the moment. Sad, I know.
The big Monday news is the acquisition of this 22yo AM. It’s not his on-field abilities I care about though. He’s our new player/assman on a paltry £75/week!
Remember back on day one, I mentioned a pair of potential free agent signings? My scout has brought back a recommendation of one of them after he snubbed us to go elsewhere. He wouldn’t even be an upgrade for us. I ask to loan him in, but I’m not splashing cash for mediocre.
The next two days are a blur of training sessions, gaping at Anderlecht’s bus/attire/talent and trying to organise ourselves for the best possible attempt at outscoring these Belgians.
We set up what we think might be our best lineup, despite the clear fitness issues we’ve got. Feeney, our talisman sits at 83% health. Perhaps he won’t make it more than 45 minutes again. Ugh.
Would you believe it? Completely against the run of play, we’re actually leading at the break!
In the dressing room, the repeated refrain is “solid at the back, no away goals”. I suppose the team talk was slightly different in the next room, as they level the score within a minute of the restart. Karaca scores their 2nd with 15 minutes to go, leaving as a mountain to climb in the next leg. The goals were on both Jesterovic and Karaca’s debuts, of course…
I’m so focused on correcting some issues from last match, that I forget we’ve got Leyton Orient in town for a friendly. We send out our weakest lineup and get summarily walloped.
Player movement seems to be slowing as we seem to have exhausted our current list of players with any talent at all. A loanee arrives on the weekend that will bolster our back line and a young Italian DM joins us on a free, but I think we have what we’re going to have for the away leg in Anderlecht.
We spend Monday on the pitch fine-tuning our smash-and-grab plan prior to our travel day on Tuesday. The trip (90 minute, 500-mile flight followed a 20 minute coach ride) is much more enjoyable than the 4 hour, 1,600 mile one to Chisineau coupled with the 3-hour drive north.
New boy Carboni is inserted into the starting XI and we’re looking altogether more healthy than we were in our home leg. There’s no pressure on us. Worst case scenario, this’ll be a pleasant pay day.
26k people are here to watch as things go VERY wrong for the home side. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still outplaying us, but the “smash” part of my plan is done. We just need the “grab” part after the break. Chines goal coming with quite literally the last kick of the half.
Chances are few and far between during the 2nd half and even though we earn a more than respectable 1–0 win in Belgium, it’s not enough to overturn their away goal advantage.
Still the Board are pleased, and the nearly £304k in ticket sales and TV revenue will pay our entire clubs wages (at the level they’re currently at) for 57 weeks. Bloody brilliant.
Now this is a capture I’m thrilled about. Portadown — our Premier League rivals — agree to a £20k bid (plus Kelly) in a swap deal. Clarke is absolutely a first-teamer, while Kelly was earning identical wages to what we’re now paying Clarke (£300/week) while languishing in the reserves. We’re just two days out from the Charity Shield against his former club, so there’s a bit of a time crunch on getting him up to speed.
Alright, Northern Ireland. Let’s see what you’ve got.
